Thursday, 19 March 2015

Party, police and pricks

Last Saturday our plans were to go to a university house party. I can't remember the last time I went to a house party and the rest of the group were excited for a cheap and sociable evening. We bought our booze a couple of days before and made sure we were sufficiently prepared with enough alcohol to last the evening.

On arrival we noticed that though the cab journey didn't seem to take so long, we were completely bewildered to our location in Coventry. The house looked nice enough and when we entered we found that though it looked relatively large on the outside, it was incredibly cosy on the inside. We lay our boxes of beer and cider outside so that they would remain cool and went inside to see what was what.

There was only around 20 people at the party at this point, 12 of which were us, so we decided to make our own entertainment by drinking and talking. Some individuals scouted the girls present and for those of us who were in a relationship, laughed at their disappointment that only 3 were actually present.

One individual of our group, John, had left to discuss his gym progress with an obvious stoner who was more interested in talking about how high he had been the night before. We again laughed as he looked at us from the other room quite confused into why we weren't going in to talk with them. The truth was we were quite happy with our own company. Furthermore, the guy in question loved singing My Chemical Romance whenever he had the chance and I can't be dealing with someone like that. .

Everything was going smoothly. We had started to make conversation with people we did not know and were getting involved with other groups. The party was starting to gain more people at this point and the alcohol consumed was starting to take effect. So as far as house party goes it was all going quite well. Until...

The doorbell rang and the host answered the door. Rico's (the host) face looked at those outside the house with a sort reluctant smile and welcome. Chris and I, who were sat in the other room watching, could tell that something wasn't quite right.

Four guys entered. Three of the four were incredibly round and the fourth looking like he hadn't eaten in a week. Two of the three round people were wearing polo tops which were clearly two sizes too small and the third fatty was wearing a coat, to our pleasing as two fabric stretchers was quite enough.

They came in and immediately we knew they weren't students. Not because of their appearance so much, though this did have some influence, but the very manner in which they waltzed in shouting and swearing with no regard for anyone else. Aaron, who had been school mates with the host had warned us that these people could come and stated they were 'massive knobs' and the only reason they were invited was because the host felt obliged to.We ignored the Jeremy Kyle contestants and left them to their own doing as we attempted to go on as we had done before.

About two hours later I was informed that a police van was outside and I decided to investigate. There was indeed a huge and full police van outside the front of the house. It turned out that one of the fabric stretchers had thrown a bottle outside, awoken a resident with children and racially abused them. On confronting the group I said 'why would you do that in a residential area?'. Their reply was 'it's a house party, got to have some fun'. I decided they were not worth the reply and left them to the host Rico.

It turned out that due to Rico's 'kindness' he could not tell them to leave. Chris and I insisted that if he wanted the party to be a success they would have to go otherwise the police would return after they politely warned us to not let it happen again.

Another hour later I got tapped on the shoulder by Abbie.

'The police are back again and one of the fat kids has just slammed the door in their face.'


Next thing I know three police officers came round the back of the house into the garden. Two were in the house and around eight lined the entrance.

Not surprisingly they asked us to leave and that party was done. It was 1:30 am by this point but we had then planned to be there till the early hours of the morning. We picked up our existing drinks, most of mine had then been stolen, and headed through the house to leave. To my amazement the most stretchiest of fabric stretchers was trying to argue with police and questioning him on the law. The police officer looked at him with some amusement as we all did. The fat prick seriously thought he was better than the policeman!

I did ask why we had been asked to leave and the police officers were incredibly friendly and helpful in describing that they had two complaints and in a residential area that means two strikes and you're out. We completely understood and they knew who the culprits were but they apologised for having to end our night and gave us taxi phone numbers.

Once we returned home we were all quite annoyed that the pricks had gotten their way so we went and bought some greasy food and drunk the last of our beer. Chris was on full rage mode and ranted about how much he hated them for a good two hours. Even now if you bring the topic up his face goes a little pink and he goes 'argh', inhales and he's off again.

Having a party shut down by the police can show that the party was bouncing. This time it was not. It was just a few ignorant and thick skulled twats that believed that with size came confidence. It was a shame as everything was starting to get going and we were enjoying ourselves. But I think the biggest regret was that we hadn't even had the time to see one of the single lads make a complete tit of himself with one of the poor and unexpecting ladies.

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